He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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