I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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