I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
