its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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