Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
