you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
