Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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