Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
