im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
