Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
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STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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