Nicole vs. Life
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
