Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
