If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Even my vagina gasped.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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