and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
