you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
