You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
