pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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