her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And then he peed in my hair
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