I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
