Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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