That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
