South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
