I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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