...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
