my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
