In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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