I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
two words: eviction party
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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