thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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