quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
