arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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