Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
