I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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