he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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