Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
