how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
