fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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