Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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