What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
