I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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