apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
