Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
