If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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