two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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