Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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