U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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