I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
