You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
