Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
