Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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