he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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