I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
