Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
