oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do vagina's smell?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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