We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
