This is not my ceiling
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
