im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
