Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
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honey bunches of taint.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
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