I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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