I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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