i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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