I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
