I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
