tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize