I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
