fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
