dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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