There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
