My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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