I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
