i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
