dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They have beer where we have blood.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
